No one deserves to die the way local U.S. resident Robert Leon Wickard apparently did. Stabbed to death in his own home, buried in his own garden. Wickard's brutalized body was left to rot by five young Mexican men, who casually sold off his worldly possessions while sleeping feet away from his decaying remains for over two weeks. They took not just his property, but all that any man has: his life. If their statements to police are true, Wickard brutalized them as well, robbing them of all they had: their dignity as human beings.
I’m a single person, once upon a time married, and the very proud father of a 26 year old daughter who is the center of my life – truly my raison d’etre. (thank you, God). I'm happily heterosexual, but I’m no crusader against gays (or any other particular subset of humanity). With those preliminaries out of the way, we can proceed.
I eat in restaurants almost every day, 99% of the time alone. It’s no fun to take your meals at home when you’re a single person. I’ve done this for years, even when I still lived in the U.S. Many people have said to me, "it must feel weird to go out to dinner by yourself." Not to me it doesn’t. To me it feels entirely normal.
I have a favorite restaurant in downtown Mérida which I was lucky enough to discover within days after moving here. I like everything about it. The food is great (and reasonably priced), it’s clean and the service is always friendly. But what I like most about it is that it’s a Mexican joint. The vast majority of the customers (about 80%) are locals. Families with kids, young couples on dates, laboring people who stop by on their way home from work.
Best of all, I don’t have to speak English there. If an occasional tourist approaches me to talk (my face leaves no doubt that I’m not a Yucatecan), I assume a very confused look and either respond rapidly in Spanish, or perhaps just mutter with a feigned heavy accent: "Sorry, I am no speaking the English so good." I visit this eatery often enough that all the waiters call me a socio of the owner – a business partner.
But there is one thing about "my restaurant" I don’t like. The other 20% of the cientelte consists of tourists from afar wearing absurdly bright clothing and goofy hats, and not a few members of the resident foreign communtiy – expatriates, as they're called. On a very regular basis, solo males about my age (60), or maybe 5-10 years younger or 5-10 years older, enter the joint with their boyfriends in tow. Almost invariably, those boyfriends are much younger Mexican males. Some could pass for the sons, or even the grandsons, of their senior escorts. It’s completely obvious to everybody what’s going on. And there's never any doubt about who's going to pick up the dinner tab and leave the tip.
So much of this activity takes place in “my restaurant” that young Mexican males hang out there alone at times, trolling for new estadounidenses (or canadienses). Mind you, this emphatically is not a gay joint. But it affords strong anecdotal evidence of another side of local expat life. The other night, just as I was finishing my second beer and calling for la cuenta, a young Mexican of perhaps 25 quickly stood up from his table, walked across the room unbeckoned and introduced himself to me in almost perfect English. I responded in a little less than perfect, but still very competent, Spanish, and so our inane chat continued for a few moments: he in my language, I in his. He insisted on my phone number, until I finally told him in the most obscene castellano I could muster where to stick his request. It’s amazing how one’s subconscious enables one to summon up foreign language insults which one didn’t realize were in the active vocabulary file. I was proud of myself, and so too, I think, were my Mexican waiter friends, who winked at me as I got up and walked out.
Switch gears. One night last summer, I enjoyed a few cocktails with an American expat couple. The man, who has years of experience in local businesses and who knew I had been in Mérida only several months, spontaneously and apropos of absolutely nothing offered up some totally unsolicited advice: “Whatever you do, don’t piss off the gay expatriate community, because they run this place.” I dismissed the comment. It meant nothing to me then, nor does it concern me now, other than to offer up this observation:
Mérida has been here much longer than either the United States of America or Canada have existed. Mérida belongs to Meridans, to Yucatecans, to Mexico, not to the highest bidder with cash in hand who comes here brazenly determined to acquire something which may not be so readily available in his own country or culture - be it cheap land or cheap love. A retired man from Pennsylvania paid a very heavy price for trying to buy the latter from five young men who, in the final analysis, found themselves with few other options in this hardscrabble terrain. It is a sad finale for all six. But who, ultimately, manipulated whom? Who was the exploiter, and who was the exploited?
It was a revolting way to die – and to live.
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Robert Leon Wickard case
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"A retired man from Pennsylvania paid a heavy price for trying to buy love with five young men who, in the final analysis, probably found themselves with few real options in this hardscrabble land. A sad end for all six. But who, ultimately, manipulated whom? Who was the exploiter, and who was the exploited? It was a revolting way to die – and to live."
ReplyDeleteWell, you really don't know, do you? From your reporting, the man was trying to get rid of 4 of these men. So who manipulated whom? You don't know. I don't either. Probably the only ones who could actually tell us if manipulation occurred are dead or in jail.
You've veiled your homophobia, as so many do, in proclamations of being open minded and free of bigotry. I doubt that's the case, but a nasty episode like this gives you the opportunity to air your grievances against people who, as a result of the mysteries of human genetics, are not like you. Nice.
The issue has nothing to do with homophobia. It has to do with exploitation of others who have no, or few, options. But your response is predictable, as is your characterization of me as homophobic.
ReplyDeleteBTW- if you're comfortable with your beliefs and opinions , why not come out of the closet of anonymity? Did the lighting strike too close to home?
Enjoyed your article today. I like the way you are 'up front' with what you have to say.
ReplyDeleteMy husband was solicited by a teenage boy and girls one evening while we were spending a late afternoon at the Tikal ruins in Guatemala, it was almost deserted, the tourists gone home. When we were approached by either sex ,they would say in English "I Love you", with a smooch, smooch and other seductive body language. We didn't linger, felt concerned about getting isolated with the group of kids and didn't encourage them by giving them money, as that's what they really wanted. We wondered about sexual tourism there and the risk these kids were taking.
Also another murder we were made aware of while on vacation in Costa Rica. An Ex marine from the USA who was homosexual, lived alone in his house, was murdered and stuffed into his water barrel on the roof of his house. He was found several days later .The 21 year old Costa Rican boyfriend did it and had had help to commit the murder and rob the dead man's place.
Several points for those following this tragic murder, which I’m sure has shaken up plenty in the local community.
ReplyDeleteFirst, there is a simple security issue at stake. I was born at night but not last night, and I am well aware that gay prostitution is common here. People get killed as a result. Check the links in my first two posts concerning this case, and you can read about several Mexican men who were murdered by their paid lovers in the “City of Peace,” all within the last few months. It’s an exceedingly risky business, and no one is immune. These murders can and do happen in the twinkling of an eye, when someone gets angry, or drunk, or is dissatisfied with the “service.” For whatever reason, these killings are far more common with gay prostitution than with straight.
Second, my opinions on this admittedly controversial issue apply with equal force to “traditional “ male-female prostitution. The newspapers here (De Peso, etc) are filled with announcements by “working girls.” Prostitution is legal in Mexico. That doesn’t make it ethical, wise or non-exploitative. Paying a woman for sex is using another human being in the same way that paying a man is. Neither should be entitled to a free pass on commentary or criticism, even when the participants are fully of age.
Third, I understood that my post would open me to charges of homophobia. But this murder of a U.S. citizen,, the first in many years, involved gay sex and therefore that’s the topic. There is no doubt in my mind that plenty of foreigners take advantage of cheap sex in this city, and I suspect that among them are more persons interested in gay encounters than straight. You can hang out in the main plaza of this city and have a new, very young boyfriend ready to move in with you within hours. They’re looking for Canadian and Americans partners, not Mexican. Put another way, they’re looking for dollars, not pesos. That is ultimately what caused this murder.
The entire situation is very sad. I will tell you that I knew this man, he was a relative.
ReplyDeleteAlthough he may have been gay, he did not deserve to die this way. I feel very sad for him on a personal note. Although I do not agree with his lifestyle choice, I know he did a lot of good for so many people.
I hope he can rest in peace. I feel very sad for all involved. Thank you for keeping us update, our family is saddened and shocked by this news.
What you say is so true. NO ONE deserves to die this way. His being gay, in and of itself, is of no more significance than the color of his eyes or hair . . . it's just a circumstance of his life, and I'm sure one that did not define him as a person. Every human being is much more than the biggest mistake of his/her life, or the worst thing he/she ever did. But sadly, life often only remembers the latter.
ReplyDeleteThanks, and my condolences to you and all his family.
Thank you very much. It is very difficult for us here in Pennsylvania because we are far removed from the situation. He has lived the last 27 years in Arizona and just recently moved to this area. He was in Pennsylvania last Thanksgiving to visit with the family, and we are grateful the visit went well.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, his last name is Wickard. It is spelled wrong in all the reports and he was 67 years old.
Although we suspected his lifestyle, we never judged him by it and it was never discussed.
He had a difficult life in Pennsylvania and from what I understand from his "family" in Arizona, he made a huge impact on many hispanics during his time there.
To set the record straight, he was a very intelligent, well read man. You are correct in saying we all make bad choices sometimes. It is too bad his legacy will be this.
Please continue to keep us updated. It has been difficult for us to know what is happening. Thanks again.
Thank you, family member. I will correct the surname spelling in all of my posts within the next few minutes. God bless all of you.
ReplyDeleteI believe you when you describe what you see in the restaurant, and I agree that it's very sad, but there's no reason at all to associate that way of life to anyone other than who you see in that restaurant. No one has to answer for another person just because they are a member of the same "subset of humanity."
ReplyDeleteMr. Byrne:
ReplyDeleteI believe the word "revolting" also describes much about your views and opinions as expressed in your writing. We are all entitled to our opinions about what we observe as well as our opinions of other people's opinions. What you choose to see in "your" restaurant may not be what other people see there. Some folks tend to see things as black and white, while others see those same things as shades of gray. Additionally, Mexico is a land of multiple truths. Several people can observe the same scenario and come away from it with different interpretations, conclusions, and assumptions. My opinion is that you have made some gross and potentially offensive generalizations about homosexuals, tourists, and locals.
Yes, indeed we are all entitled to our own views and estimations.
ReplyDeleteMine remain that the things I have described are indeed quite revolting. But of course, the real reference point of that word -- which apparently escaped you entirely -- is that Mr. Wickard's manner of leaving this world was revolting, as was his obvious manipulation of young men who had no means of daily commerce other than their own bodies. Sorry you didn't get the point, although I'm confident most other readers did.
You're welcome to express your opinions here anytime. But don't justify these events by suggesting that they are misunderstood "life style" choices. Rather, they are acts of economic domination, inherently exploitative in nature, often committed by foreigners against locals. Your attempt to advertise them differently suggests to me that you may be a practitioner of the trade.
The whole thing is just plain sad! Sad for the people that have no other means to make ends meet and sad for the people that feel the need to live in such a way.
ReplyDeleteThe fact is that both parties the seller and the receiver both have issues. Anyone that would practice such a lifestyle choice is putting himself in harms way. We all reap what we sow. It's a fact of life!
Even so, it is a very violent way to leave this earth and I don't think anyone should have to die this way.
I pray for the families of the victim and the murderers whose lives will forever be changed!
De verdad, uno cosecha lo que siembra. Quienes siembran únicamente para complacer a sí mismos sólo cosecharán de ello la destrucción. Galatians, 6:7
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I completely understood your meaning and use of "revolting" on several levels in your article. Secondly,I am not "a practitioner of the trade," although I am well aware of the fact that it exists.
ReplyDeleteA bit of background information, I am not exactly a newcomer to Merida. I've lived and worked here for the last 17 years. Prior to that, I lived and worked in the U.S. -- legally on both sides of the border, I might add, having dual citizenship.
Back to the original topic, I think we can both agree that it's a tragic situation for all involved. Who are the victims? Who was being exploited? Who made unwise choices? I don't know. Probably everyone involved.
That's where I don't see the black and white of it, and the gray enters in. I understand that a "working boy" in the park can earn more in an hour or two than he can earn in a week at many legitimate jobs if he's lucky enough to find a job. In this economy, many (most?) of those legitimate jobs are exploitative as well. Yet, I know literally hundreds of locals with limited education and limited job skills who are working very hard, earning very little money, and not selling their bodies.
I don't personally know any of the people involved, which means I don't know their motives or reasons for doing what they did. Mr. Wickard might have been a kind-hearted man whose motive was to help the young men, or he may have been trying to take advantage of (exploit) them and their current situations. The young men may have been destitute and desperate, willing to do anything just for room and board, or they may have been too lazy to get and keep other types of jobs and saw Mr. Wickard as an easy mark. Just as I wouldn't assume that an older man with a younger man in a restaurant meant that something unsavory or illicit was going on between them, I can't assume things about those involved in the topic at hand. I do know that things often are not as they appear to be.
Edward, I understand where you are coming from.
ReplyDeleteI left a comment two days ago below the article regarding the to-be-executed Mexican brothers in Malaysia.
As I addressed in that comment, I was a victim of violent behavior myself, in Playa Del Carmen to be specific. In retrospective, I was the foolish one who stepped up trying to stop my drunk neighbor from blasting loud banda music from his parked car. My Spanish was bad, and never was perfect after 4 years staying there, however, I tried to confront the man any way and being the little brave asian husband of a Mexican lady and a Mexican new born baby that I was, I underestimated my ability to fight and lost to this angry man who easily outweight me 2-1.
In any case, to make the story short, I ended up filing a police report, with fresh pictures taken of my broken cheekbone and fractured rib, and I even brandished my chipped front teeth to the gentleman who was so kind in knocking on this fella's door over the course of the next few weeks. Needless to say, the drunken neighbor was nowhere to be seen and escaped to DF. During that period, I gave up on the lousy police work, and moved near my wife's family for safety concern.
I guess what I am trying to say is, when one is situated as a foreigner who has LITTLE understanding of the local language and 'culture', one should stay away from trouble and avoid confrontational situations. I tried, however, to be cordial, but armed with lousy Spanish does not earn anyone any respect, and I guess I deserved the fist of fury that night while all I could do was stare the big man down. That did not work at all, and luckily my wife, like all Latinas that I had known, rushed to my aid and tried to 'kick the bandejo's arse'. Much salute to the women of the Latin world who stand up to their husbands, disregarding their drunken abusive behavior. They rock.
Edward, Mexico like you said, has a long long history even way before whiteman even began to set sail to the west. There is much resentment towards 'old world' attitudes (such in a case when my Spaniard female friend was beat up by her then Mexican boyfriend) , and as you know, Mexicans are no strangers to their country's financial predicament and how Mexico is heavily under the influence of foreign financial institutions and constantly under the mercy of global tourism.
By the way, I have known several gay Mexian friends through work. They are funny and very wonderful people, who often invite 'gringo friends' into the circle. How this thing happened in Merida, is anyone's guess. I suppose it is an isolated case, but then again, there is no need to stick out like a sore thumb. It pays to have lots of Mexican friends, and my extended Mexican family saved me numerous times. They joke about how this Chinese American ended up selling art in riviera Maya, but they know I was their friend and forever their family.
I guess I am not making my point too clear but I want people to know that when there is understanding, there is way to live peacefully in a foreign land.
As a gay gringo in a happy, monogamous relationship with another gringo living here in Merida, I can attest to the humiliation felt when our reputation precedes us.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm the first person to admit that this reputation is pretty solidly grounded in reality.
On multiple occasions I have been introduced to other gay gringos, typically in their 50s or 60s, with their Mexican 17-22-year-old partners in tow, and on more than one occasion I was informed, either directly or indirectly, that I could "get in on the action" with these young men for the right price.
These interactions quickly turned seemingly benign social occasions like house parties and film screenings into rather humiliating displays of privileged decadence.
When I moved here a few years ago, which I did not to retire but to study (I myself am not quite thirty years old yet,) I curiously perused Google to see what the gay scene was like. As I said, I'm partnered and monogamous, but I had always been involved in the respective communities I was a part of prior to my move south of the border, usually volunteering for AIDS organizations and homeless youth outreach.
The first page I came across was a guide for gay tourists coming to Merida, written in English, that hosted such valuable tidbits as which pereferico bars had the best male strippers, which parks to cruise for public sex in Cancun, and even an advertisement for a Rent-a-Boy service. This page has since been taken down after it was exposed on another blog, though I still have screenshots of it.
And the more research I did the quicker I realized that Merida's English-speaking gay community was more or less a cadre of retired sex tourists, and I got the impression that I wasn't the only "normal" gay expat living here who just wanted to make friends and wasn't here to cruise for foreign tail.
I also got the impression that these other "normal" men avoided the gringo gay scene, probably because, like me, they had been humiliated in public by other gay gringos' bad behavior.
I'm frustrated by facile cries of "homophobia" whenever someone dares to acknowledge what is plain as day for me and a great many of my friends here, both expat and local (and yes, Yucatecos know exactly what goes on.) I don't know what kind of homophobia these individuals have been exposed to during their lives, but as someone who has been the victim of real homophobia, and as someone who has spent time volunteering to help victims of AIDS and homeless youth who fled or were disowned by their own homophobic families, I can say that few things are as homophobic as taking advantage of the poverty and disenfranchisement of one of our young gay brothers.
There is a reason why people travel to the developing world to pay for sex. Prostitutes in places like the United States, Canada and Western Europe are more expensive, because, as desperate as they are, they are seldom as desperate as prostitutes in the developing world. These men like their prostitutes cheap and desperate.
They are well aware of the power dynamic that exists. They are probably more aware of class than your average person, and they take full advantage of that awareness. They knowingly and purposefully exploit the fact that they have power and their young lovers do not.
For this reason, I have issues with any wealthy retiree who enters into a romantic relationship with a much younger, much poorer person, of any gender, even if it is not a relationship based on prostitution, because we all know who carries the money, who has the power, who can make choices, and who can easily and comfortably recover should the relationship end.
This is a tragedy, for all parties involved, and especially for the gentleman who was killed. He cannot get his life back. But the lesser tragedy, one that will sadly continue on long after most of us forget this incident even happened, is the continued exploitation of disenfranchised gay youth at the hands of men who should know better.
"They are well aware of the power dynamic that exists. They are probably more aware of class than your average person, and they take full advantage of that awareness. They knowingly and purposefully exploit the fact that they have power and their young lovers do not."
DeleteAlthough I'm not in a position to disagree with what you've written, because I don't really know that much about it, I was under the impression that most of the older, supposedly wealthy gay expats were paying for the services of mayates rather than gay (by Mexican terminology) young men. Along with Mexican cultural concepts of what constitutes "gay," which are not exactly the same as those of people from some other countries, things can get complicated when class, wealth, social influence, and other factors are considered. There are a number of quite influential gays and lesbians in education, business, medicine, and government in Merida -- areas where their positions and money give them a certain amount of power.
Sir, I wish I could reach out and shake your hand.
ReplyDeleteBy the account of your own personal experiences, you have verified the entire point and purpose of my editorial. Thank you for doing so, and for TELLING THE TRUTH, which you as a gay men understand better than most of us do. In a few words, you have exposed the deception of some who have left contrary comments on this page.
I wish you all the best, every happiness and freedom from discrimination in any form.
Ed -- slow down on the gay murder scenario. Today's Diario is reporting that one of the accused assailants says that the murder took place after an argument, following sexual relations between the murder victim and a young woman. True or not? Well, there is about as much evidence for that as the story you've been ''reporting''. I do note that the local papers have reported, all along, that the arrested included a YOUNG WOMAN, something that you have not mentioned. None of these reports changes the outcome -- a dead man, a gang of young criminals (thieves, and in some cases murderers), but the connection to ''gay'' lifestyle is certainly not as clear as you seem to think. Sexual tourism, or exploitation of young men & women? I assume you've read Lydia Cacho's the Demons of Eden. This is not a problem unique to homosexuals OR heterosexuals. It's about predators, whatever the sex, and if you are going to write about this topic, it would be better to make this clear.
ReplyDeleteNot that this is proof of anything, but it may interest you that I found this as well as a number of similar postings on other sites going as far back as 2009.
DeleteAnd, for the record, the Diario got a number of other facts wrong, including the spelling of his name, and all news sources still know comparatively little about what took place, so take that for what it's worth.
What papers are you reading??? I've seen absolutely nothing about a woman being arrested. The very first story I wrote mentioned that one of the suspects was a transvestite, but that's all.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen today's Sipse story, with the photo of the four suspects now in custody? Do they look like boys or girls to you? Here's the link: http://sipse.com/noticias/159023-merida-tras-pista-asesino-material-extranjero-.html.
Have you read the several comments left by Mr. Wickard's family members in Pennsylvania yesterday, attesting to his known homosexual lifestyle?
I pride myself on accuracy and on telling my readers the truth. If I make a mistake, I correct it as quickly as I can. I'm not afraid to say I was wrong about something when that occasionally happens (usually on minor details).
At this point, based on everything I've seen over the past 36 hours, this is the same story I first reported Friday evening: a gay-oriented murder committed by four or five male live-in lovers (prostitutes, if you prefer) of the victim.
When and if the entire story changes, and it become a "woman kills man" story, I'll report that, too. I don't MAKE the stories -- I just write them. This is a news website, not a fiction or experimental literature blog.
Ed -- the newspapers that I read include the Diario de Yucatán, which is the source that I CITED in my previous comment. The Diario's reports have consistently said that one of the arrested is a woman, and give the name of Janeth Lorenzo Matu (or Montelvo). I did not say that a woman had killed a man -- the ''confession'' to which I referred stated that
DeleteI am not accusing you of making things up -- I'm sorry that you misinterpreted my comment as such. I was pointing out what seemed to be an important aspect of the story that you HAD NOT covered (the confession of one of the detained).
Given that, as you know, early reports in the news often contain erroneous information, I thought that you might want to hold off on editorializing based on reports that MIGHT not be (entirely) correct.
Thanks, MCM, and despite my previous tone with you I do indeed appreciate your "keeping an eye" on my reporting, about which I am very sensitive :-). But the short answer is no, I haven't seen that name mentioned at all. And note that in my latest post about this case (derived entirely from yesterday's electronic edition of Sipse), all of the arrested parties, and the one still being sought, are men.
DeleteOn thought I omitted, MCM. You say this case is not about homosexuals or heterosexuals, or any other particular group, but rather about "predators."
ReplyDeleteRight you are -- but WHO was the predator?
In your mind, no doubt the young Mexicans, right? Not all of my readers may agree with that analysis.
Why do you think that ''in my mind'' the predator(s) was/were the young Mexicans? It sounds like there are plenty of candidates for this role, but it's not clear to me, who the predator/s are. The point of the comment was to emphasize that SEXUAL PREDATORS include both heterosexuals and homosexuals.
DeleteEveryone involved in this situation made choices as we all do.
ReplyDeleteTo say that these "sex slaves" are exploited in my opinion isn't so. Just as other people make the decision to go to work each day and make an honest living, these prostitutes make the decision to go out and sell their bodies. It's a choice!
Mr. Wickard was wrong if he was soliciting young prostitutes but if the men were'nt willing to sell themselves there wouldn't have been anything to buy. No matter how much money was involved.
Who took advantage? Utimately it was 5 against 1. The odds seem to speak for themselves!
Gotcha, friend. And on 9/11 the World Trade Center towers were actually brought down by the U.S. government, in case you didn't know that.
ReplyDeleteMr. Byrne,
ReplyDeleteI hope your readers realize that even though Robert was involved in a relationship with a man, or men, that does not give anyone the right to take a man's life. Especially in such a horrific manner. I am sure he fought back, or tried to. I am also sure he was outnumbered. He was not a large man, he was rather small. He was very sickly as an infant, and would definitely not had the strength to "outman" five men.
From my understanding of people who knew him in Arizona, Robert was in a "single" relationship with one person. This person who moved into this "house", (which by the way, he did not own, he rented} brought other friends to the area.
Regardless, a man is dead. It is sad for his immediate family who are all in their eighties. They do not care whether he was gay or straight, all they know is it was their little brother who was mixed up in a world they do not understand.
I am not justifying what he did, and I do not know a thing about sex slaves, or men for hire. It is sad for all involved. Thank you for allowing me to give a voice to someone who can't anymore.
Many hundreds of people from far and wide (Mexico, Canada, the U.S. and Europe) have been following Robert’s case over the weekend. I think I can speak for most of them in saying that there is only compassion and sadness for all of you – and for Robert.
ReplyDeleteThe issues which have been and will continue to be written about, discussed and debated in the days ahead at this site raise questions which transcend the immediate parties to this tragedy. The purpose of the debate, as with any debate, is to encourage people to think and reflect on their positions.
Several writers, including gays, have poured their heartfelt emotions out on this page today, and have said some things that other gays might have preferred not to read. That’s good for all of us.
But no one, I assure you, has an ill word for or about Robert. As I told one family member last evening, every person is far more than his errors in judgment, or his natural submission to powerful human urges.
I do feel for Robert, be assured, and likewise for the five, no doubt very frightened young Mexicans, whose lives in a very real sense are over, too. Everybody has lost, it seems.
My best regards to you.
"Several writers, including gays, have poured their heartfelt emotions out on this page today, and have said some things that other gays might have preferred not to read. That’s good for all of us."
Delete- Byrne
Several writers, including heterosexuals, have poured their heartfelt emotions out on this page today, and have said some things that other heterosexuals might have preferred not to read. I would like to believe that's good for all of us, too.
Agreed. Constantly revisiting and reassessing one's beliefs and positions on many things is an intelligent way to live, although at times unpleasant.
DeleteI ran across some articles lately regarding foreigners being harmed or murdered outside their countries. It is no news that hostilities exist, this occurs especially when one moves in a neighborhood which has little exposure to their 'likeliness'. I was reading about some white gentleman who was murdered in Thailand last week. No criminal ties, not gay, married to a Thai lady, no hostilities. Very strange and sad case. Thailand is a main destination for SEX tourism as you may know - Thai ladyboys enough said, and prostitutes as young as 5 years old as seen on investigive US news shows - so people are EXTRA vigilant nowadays when foreigners begin to show up, viewed as potential 'predators'. Methamphetamine is running rampage as well which contributes to the violence against tourists. Then again, if you put yourself in the perspective as a local, you may find it 'uneasy' when some person just showed up next door, not communicating much and interacting with the community. How do I know? I was such case. Now that I moved out of Mexico and now living in Asia with my Mexican wife (fair-skinned just so you get the idea). She sometimes have a hard time dealing with stares and unwanted attention just shopping at local 7-eleven. In any case, people need to know, that to survive in a community, you need to let your friendliness be known. It is rather annoying, but then again you placed yourself in a tight-knit community with certain level of xenophobia, you need to prepare yourself for some kind of reaction. Just another story, when I was working with my dear Mexican fellow arts and craft salespeople, one told me that when he was living in Tijuana, some old white guy moved into a very 'local' community, which drew quite a bit of attention, as he was a loner and spoke very little English. Things got ugly however, when he began to take pictures of kids playing on the streets. My friend, along with tens of neighbors, began to carry out 'street justice' by pulling the old guy out of his apartment, and turned him to the police. He was eventually deported, luckily unharmed. Was that something that reflects the ugliness of a rural Mexican culture? I think not. People need to know what the heck they are doing. Do not draw negative attention to yourself if you picture yourself living in harmony with others.
ReplyDeleteDear Mr Byrne,
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame that ultimately when something like this happens the victim is often the one who's life is scrutinized. Robert may have not lived a life style that everyone agrees with but in the end he was very violently murdered. No one no matter what their sexual preferences are deserves to die in such a manner.
As far as his character or what transpired in the ending of his life you don't have his side of the story and never will. You only have the testimony of 4 murderers. In your mind if you think about that how much of their story can you believe? They will most certainly try and justify it all as much as they can to make it seem like he brought it on himself.
From what I know of Robert he was a very caring man to many Mexican people and only tried to help them. It's a shame that his entire life seems to be summed up by the ending.
It seems that the men who murdered Robert were used to death and violence. It is unimagineable to think of them living there as Robert's body decomposed and to such a degree that you could smell it out on the steet?? .. Terrible! Heartless!.. There is just not a word that can describe it! VERY SAD!
In the end those involved had to be desperate beyong words to do such awful things!
Desperate? Unstable? Crazy? Under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol? All of the above?
ReplyDeleteWill this event change anything in the big picture of things? Will the news go viral on the Internet and hurt Merida's tourism industry? Will it cause some foreigners to hesitate in choosing Merida as a place to invest in businesses or a retirement location?
Will young men stop cruising the Zocalo offering their services? Will potential customers stop going to the Zocalo in search of those services?
Will pay-by-the-hour hotels, male strip clubs, massage parlors, and baños de vapor go out of business for lack of patrons?
Probably not..Sex, alcohol, drugs are powerful forces when we feed them. Mix that with poverty and you have a deadly mix.
ReplyDeleteSadly, the goodness in people is what seems to fade. When we give into temptation and fleshly things the end result is never good. Sad but true...