"If there's anything almost as shameful as the behavior of these predatory gringos, it's that Merida's English-speaking expat community hasn't only turned a blind eye to what they do, but has in fact tolerated their presence and quite often interacted with them socially. A great many Yucatecos regard Merida's English-speaking expat community as generally amoral, disreputable, and untrustworthy. And you really can't blame them."
Anonymous comment received by MGRR
May 29, 2012 1:06 PM
"Mérida's English-speaking gay community is more or less a cadre of retired sex tourists. These men like their prostitutes cheap and desperate."
Anonymous comment received by MGRR
May 27, 2012 3:25 PM
"As a gay gringo in a happy, monogamous relationship with another gringo living here in Merida, I can attest to the humiliation felt when our reputation precedes us.
But I'm the first person to admit that this reputation is pretty solidly grounded in reality.
On multiple occasions I have been introduced to other gay gringos, typically in their 50s or 60s, with their Mexican 17-22-year-old partners in tow, and on more than one occasion I was informed, either directly or indirectly, that I could "get in on the action" with these young men for the right price.
These interactions quickly turned seemingly benign social occasions like house parties and film screenings into rather humiliating displays of privileged decadence.
When I moved here a few years ago, which I did not to retire but to study (I myself am not quite thirty years old yet,) I curiously perused Google to see what the gay scene was like. As I said, I'm partnered and monogamous, but I had always been involved in the respective communities I was a part of prior to my move south of the border, usually volunteering for AIDS organizations and homeless youth outreach.
The first page I came across was a guide for gay tourists coming to Merida, written in English, that hosted such valuable tidbits as which pereferico bars had the best male strippers, which parks to cruise for public sex in Cancun, and even an advertisement for a Rent-a-Boy service. This page has since been taken down after it was exposed on another blog, though I still have screenshots of it.
And the more research I did the quicker I realized that Merida's English-speaking gay community was more or less a cadre of retired sex tourists, and I got the impression that I wasn't the only "normal" gay expat living here who just wanted to make friends and wasn't here to cruise for foreign tail.
I also got the impression that these other "normal" men avoided the gringo gay scene, probably because, like me, they had been humiliated in public by other gay gringos' bad behavior.
I'm frustrated by facile cries of "homophobia" whenever someone dares to acknowledge what is plain as day for me and a great many of my friends here, both expat and local (and yes, Yucatecos know exactly what goes on.) I don't know what kind of homophobia these individuals have been exposed to during their lives, but as someone who has been the victim of real homophobia, and as someone who has spent time volunteering to help victims of AIDS and homeless youth who fled or were disowned by their own homophobic families, I can say that few things are as homophobic as taking advantage of the poverty and disenfranchisement of one of our young gay brothers.
There is a reason why people travel to the developing world to pay for sex. Prostitutes in places like the United States, Canada and Western Europe are more expensive, because, as desperate as they are, they are seldom as desperate as prostitutes in the developing world. These men like their prostitutes cheap and desperate.
They are well aware of the power dynamic that exists. They are probably more aware of class than your average person, and they take full advantage of that awareness. They knowingly and purposefully exploit the fact that they have power and their young lovers do not.
For this reason, I have issues with any wealthy retiree who enters into a romantic relationship with a much younger, much poorer person, of any gender, even if it is not a relationship based on prostitution, because we all know who carries the money, who has the power, who can make choices, and who can easily and comfortably recover should the relationship end.
This is a tragedy, for all parties involved, and especially for the gentleman who was killed. He cannot get his life back. But the lesser tragedy, one that will sadly continue on long after most of us forget this incident even happened, is the continued exploitation of disenfranchised gay youth at the hands of men who should know better."
Robert Lee Wickard case
Suspects in murder of Mérida American expat indicted and ordered to stand trial
Robert Wickard suspects held for 30 days
Four suspects in murder of U.S. citizen set to be arraigned
Opinion: A revolting way to die – and to live
American citizen murdered in Mérida died at hands of gay sex partners
U.S. citizen found murdered in Mérida
Jan. 18, 2013 - "Violence on Yucatán soil" - against foreigners
Feb. 15, 2013 - American expat murdered in Mérida had sex with 17 year old boy just before he died
